Bullies and Where I Stand

I think I should give a full disclosure before you get too far into reading this by saying that this blog very well could end up being incredibly long.  So if you wish to know where I stand on the topic of bullying, then by all means, continue reading.

I believe that it goes without saying that I love my children and I will defend them by giving up my life. They both mean that much to me. I would have no problems laying down my own life to save theirs. I wish all parents felt the same way, but a lot of people just don't care about their kids the way that I do.

So a bit of a background as to why I felt the need to write this blog.  My wife and I have been together for 17 years.  In that time we have had two children together.  Both boys, and both are now teenagers.  Hayden Alexander-Ray is almost 15 and Cullen Jean is almost 14.  Both of our boys are such good kids with incredibly big hearts.  They love without thinking, and they give without a second thought of themselves.  They're good kids.  Hayden is a perfectly normal teenage boy.  He is in to music, video games and girls.  Not so much the last one, because he has a very shy disposition, but he still likes them a lot nonetheless.  Cullen Jean is a bit different on the other hand.  He is typical in the fact that he loves video games, movies and television.

However, we knew when Cullen was at a very young age that something just wasn't right.  Somewhere, there was something off kilter.  When he was around 3 years old he began showing signs of Autism.  Lining things up just perfectly.  Stacking items just perfectly.  Not being on time in his developmental stages.  Sitting up, crawling, walking and talking rather late.  So we did what any concerned parents would have done.  We took him to be evaluated.  Almost immediately, the doctor said that he was not Autistic.  So we went home and continued to raise our kids the best we knew how.

Ever since Cullen was first enrolled in school he struggled to adapt to his surroundings.  He would have meltdowns whenever he couldn't write a letter exactly the way he wanted it to look.  He just simply struggled to fit in.  As he continued in school, he had several different troubles.  Not being able to control the volume of his voice, not being able to control the things that comes out of his mouth.  Not even being able to control some of the things he did at times.  All the while, he was a straight A, honor roll student.  In seventh grade, he was expelled for two months for popping off at the mouth and saying that he wanted to cause harm to himself just to escape another students incessant rambling.  This past year, eighth grade, he has been expelled since November because he had a meltdown in a class and was sent to the principal's office once again (about the twentieth time since sixth grade).  On the way to the office, he had another case of diarrhea of the mouth by saying that he wished the school would just blow up.  Zero tolerance.  Indefinite expulsion.  Straight A, honor roll student.  Damn...

We went to a hearing at the Administration Building which involved the Assistant Superintendent, the Assistant Principal and the Principal, my wife and I and our son, Cullen.  We pled our case for Cullen to be able to return to school.  Stating that he is too bright to be held out for the length of time that the Principal was recommending, which was the entire school year.  On top of that, she was requiring him to go through some sort of Anger Management classes by a trained and certified psychologist before he could return to school as well.

So having to go through the proper channels due to our insurance, we had to take him to see our family doctor first.  Immediately, she knew it was not an anger issue.  She saw through the anger.  She sent us to a place called Centerstone that deals with Mental Health, to have Cullen evaluated.  After an hour spent with the evaluation specialist, she knew beyond a doubt that our doctor was right.  Cullen had Asperger's Syndrome.  We were incredibly relieved to finally know why our son continued to mess up in school.  Now we have an answer.  Now we have a path to take.

So now that I have set up a rather lengthy background, please allow me to discuss why I am writing this blog.  This blog is about bullies and bullying.

For years, our youngest son Cullen has been bullied in school.  It became very aggressive once he got in to middle school.  The real issue though is this, Cullen Jean wasn't just bullied by students.  My wife and I feel that he was bullied by the principal as well.  Yes, you heard that right.  We feel that the principal in the school that he attended was bullying him as well.  She is after all, the daughter of one of Martinsville's most famous bullies.  He used to be the football coach at the high school.  So she has learned bullying quite well and frequently!  Remember how many times he has been to the office in the two and a half years he has been at that school?  It was at least twenty, if not more.  All of the reasons more ridiculous than the previous one.  What happened to tolerance?  What happened to understanding?  What happened to trying to find out what is truly bothering a child before acting like such a self righteous bitch and just expelling an honor roll student for words?

Like I said earlier, I love my son and I would give my life for his.  I was bullied as a student, and I refuse to allow my son to be bullied as well.  Especially by the principal!  We are digging in and preparing for a war.  I plan on retaining a lawyer and going after her and the school system if this type of behavior is allowed to continue from those in a position of power.

On March 30, 2012 a film by Lee Hirsch that is produced and distributed by the Weinstein Company will make its way to theaters.  It is a documentary called The Bully Project.  It is a movie that follows five children around for the course of a single school year that are subject to bullying.  After shooting, it was discovered that two of the children that are featured, ended up committing suicide because of the bullying.  It is very sad and terribly tragic.

One of the children that they follow around is Alex from Iowa.  Alex has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.  When I first heard about this movie, with everything that has gone down with our son, I immediately wanted to see it.  But then I watched the trailer for the film.  That is when I found out that Alex, who is 14 years old, is an Aspie.  This literally broke my heart.  Why is this kid being bullied?  It is because he is different and misunderstood.  Plain and simple.

The Motion Picture Association of America has given The Bully Project an R rating because of some language.  Thus negating the opportunity of the movie being seen by the people who need to see it the most. Kids.  Lee Hirsch and Harvey Weinstein are fighting the MPAA tooth and nail to try to get this rating changed to a PG-13 so it can be shown in schools and so the target audience will have a chance to see it as well.  There is a petition on the website that people can sign that is going to be presented to the MPAA for those that do not agree with the rating that The Bully Project was given.  If you believe what I believe, if you feel what I feel, the please, follow the link here and sign the petition.  Also I am going to post a link at the bottom of this blog so you can watch the trailer for The Bully Project as well.

I knew that this would end up being the longest blog I have written to date.  I just didn't realize it would be this long.  However, I am very passionate about my kids.  I am very passionate against bullying.  And I am very passionate about Asperger's Awareness.  Thank you for taking the time to read this, as this is a very sensitive subject for our family.

Nothing left but the details

WOW! Two blogs in two days. I've gotta admit that I'm rather impressed with myself. I really didn't think I'd be able to do two days in a row. But alas!!! This one is pretty important. So let's just dive right in, shall we? I met with Erick Hawkins, a District Manager from Rally's today to discuss my career and my future with Burger King and with Rally's. I have to confess, I am thoroughly impressed with not only the company, but with him as well. He reminds me so much of my boss, M. We spoke for approximately 30 minutes and talked about many things. We talked of expectations, money, more money, bonuses, training and respect. It was that last one that definitely caught my attention. Respect. Imagine that? A boss who respects their people? Reminds me a LOT of M. By the end of the conversation we were on a path. A path that Erick and I hope and pray will lead us both to a lot of success. The plan is there. The road chosen. I am leaving Burger King. I turned in my two weeks notice just a few moments ago. My last day (unless I get fired before that) will be March 12, 2012. I am very excited about the opportunity that Mr. Hawkins and Checker's/Rally's are giving me. Even though I will be starting out making more money per year than I've ever made in my life, it is just not about the money. It's about finding happiness. I simply cannot find that happiness at Burger King anymore. Two months ago, I loved going to work. Let me repeat that. I loved going to work. But that's about when I really started getting burned out. 60+ hour work weeks. Busting my hump to meet numbers that are not appreciated. Sacrificing precious time with my family to try to make my store a success. Being on call 24/7, no matter what I was doing, or where I was going. Getting phone calls and texts while in the middle of church, or spending some quality time with my wife. I did it all. I gave everything up for my career. Why? Because I truly thought it would make a difference. I honestly thought that people cared about what I was doing. But the fact of the matter is, it didn't make a difference. The only difference it made was that it caused a rift in my marriage. One so severe that we almost split up because of it. I had put my job before my wife. A mistake that I will NEVER make again. For the month of January my little store in Trafalgar, Indiana was the 5th fastest store in the market. Now that market consists of over 200 stores in three different states. That was something that me and my entire team worked really hard at to achieve. We wanted to be something. We wanted to make a difference. To matter. We were also the fastest store in the entire state of Indiana! The four stores in front of us in the market were from Ohio and Kentucky respectively. We were very proud of that happening. We are also the fastest store in the district for this month as well. We all work really hard. We leave it all in the store. We work together. We sweat together. We honor each other, and we respect each other. All we had hoped for from the higher ups was some recognition. A "good job". We got nothing. One huge deciding factor in my decision is that there is a rat in my store. Someone has been running back and forth between me and the "acting" district manager talking crap about me. Telling lies about me, and saying things that were meant to remain in my store until I was ready to go to him with the information that I was in fact leaving. I know that no one else outside of my store told the district manager anything, because no one else knew anything. Trust and respect are a huge thing to me. That was violated beyond repair, and it came down to either that person leaving, or me leaving. So since I have been given an opportunity that I simply cannot refuse, it will be I that is leaving. My decision, not theirs. So in closing, I will say this. I will always love my store in Trafalgar. I will always love the people that have worked for me. And I will miss them all very, very much. They are my kids. My extended family. My people.

The first of many?

Let me just start by saying that my plan is to write on this blog quite often. That being said, I wouldn't quite count on that. With my schedule, the very little sleep I get anyway, and the fact that I'm just plain lazy means that this will most likely get ignored after a few entries. I really, truly hope that isn't the case. I mean, everyone needs a way to vent. And yes, I have plenty of friends that I talk to and that allow me to vent on them, but this way seems a bit easier. I'd really like to try to unburden my friends and confidants from the crap that is filled inside my head. Plus, if they choose to read this or not is entirely up to them. If they ask me what's up and I begin with all of the B.S., then they're stuck. And I feel bad for them. So this is just another avenue.

So the topic of conversation today is my work. Yes, I have made several posts on Facebook about my possible new job over the past week or so, but this is something entirely different. I want to talk about my boss. MY boss. Not the guy filling in for him, but my boss. I will not say his name, but I will just call him M. To set this up properly, I will say that M has been on a medical leave of absence since the beginning of December. This has been very difficult for most of, if not all of the GMs in his district. M did so much for his GMs. Probably more than any of us thought he did. So as my time at BK is drawing to a close, I felt the need to reach out to him and thank him for everything that he has done for me. I thanked him for giving me a career when I didn't have one. I thanked him for believing in me, standing up for me, standing beside me, and always being there to help me out when I was stuck, when no one else would have. M is without a doubt one of, if not THE BEST boss I have ever worked for. I just pray that my new boss is half the man that M is. And I certainly hope that my new boss has the patience of a saint like M has. Or else I'm in big trouble. M is the type of boss that people DREAM of working for. Understanding, motivating, caring, helpful, funny and fantastic. Those are just a few words that I struggled to find to try to describe him. But the truth of it is, words just simply do not do M any justice.

As I move along in life and in my career, I hope so much that M and I can remain in contact, because he truly is someone that I would call my friend. I wish him nothing but success in everything he does from this moment forward, and pray that he finds the happiness that he so rightfully deserves. I have never in my life felt like a boss cared for me the way that M does. He is just a good person. He is a good person in every sense of the word.

Maybe one day when we both are in need, M and I can work together once again. I would truly enjoy that, and I think that he would as well. So, in closing, M, this is not good bye. This is just, talk to ya later brother.