My wife and I have been together going on 20 years. In fact, it will be 20 years this February 23rd, which is also my 39th birthday. Do the math there, I'll wait............Did you figure it out? Yes, I was 19 years old when we first started seeing each other. Amanda was 16 years old. We both have been with each other now, more than half of our lives. That is such a rare feat nowadays. We have had our share of ups and downs, bumps and bruises and a few occasions where we almost didn't make it. But we did. We made it because we wanted to make it. We stayed together because we love each other and we want to be with each other. This blog isn't about the history of how we came to be where we are now, I just wanted to give you a bit of a background before I get into the meat and potatoes of it all.
When Amanda and I started dating, I was attending Faith Church and she was attending Eastview Church. I decided that I would start going to Eastview with her because there were some people that went to Faith that just didn't like Amanda, and I didn't want to put her through that. Not long after we started going there, Amanda ended up pregnant. Yes, we were sexually active teens. I won't go into the details of how everything went down, but at the end of the day, the youth pastor, Marty Corey, the deacons and the youth group parents all told Amanda and I to leave Eastview and never return. We were crushed. We were heartbroken and our spirits were ripped in half. The family that we needed the most, our church family, had turned their backs on us and abandoned us. They had left us out in the cold to face the world and our mountainous problems alone. We tried turning to Faith Church for help. We went out to the youth group a couple of times and were made to feel like outcasts by the rest of the group. Only one person stood by us and that was Stu Henning, the leader of the Faith Church Youth Group. He was a comfort to us in a time when we had none.
Because of the way we were treated whenever we went out to Faith, we just stopped going. Over time, Amanda and I became bitter. Well, me more than her. I turned my back on my faith and began to resent those who had faith. It went so far as to me hating believers and hating God. All because of the youth leader at Eastview, Marty Corey. I have a question for you Marty. What did Jesus tell us was our last commandment? You should know this one Marty. After all, you are a pastor at a church now. What was that? Jesus told us to "love one another, as I have loved you". Yet you didn't. You didn't love two very lost and very scared teenagers. It is directly because of that lack of love that two faithful followers lost their way. We strayed from God and in some cases (mine), even hated Him. It took nearly 15 years for Amanda and I to go back to church because of your actions and the actions of those at Eastview.
So let's fast forward to yesterday. Amanda and one of her closest friends went to an Eastview Youth Group reunion of sorts. Amanda was hesitant at first but eventually decided to go because she had built some pretty good relationships with other kids during her time there. I did not attend because of work. God's timing is perfectly perfect. When Amanda and her friend arrived at the church, Marty Corey was already there. Everyone said hello to everyone. Amanda's friend introduced Amanda BY NAME to Marty Corey with the words "And you remember Amanda". Stoned. Marty Corey did not say a word to her nor even nod his head in her direction. Twenty years have gone by. TWENTY YEARS!!! Yet this man who has been in the church his whole life, who has studied the word of God HIS WHOLE LIFE and who has made his living TEACHING the word of God, acted like a jilted girl who had been stood up on prom night. What a professional! What a great man of God! What a TERRIFIC example of Christ you are displaying, Mr. Corey. God sure is proud of you today my friend. Remember when I said that God's timing is perfectly perfect? It is a good thing that I had to work yesterday, because I probably would have been at that church yesterday, and I know for a fact that I would not have held my tongue nor my temper and I would have blasted that man for the walking hypocrite that he is all the way back to Kentucky.
While discussing how things went at the reunion with Amanda last night, she told me that his behavior yesterday toward her solidified her struggle with forgiveness. Yes, she has always struggled in this area of her faith. I, on the other hand am a very forgiving person. That is, unless you have caused hurt or harm to my wife. Then I can become a person whose path you have no desire to cross, and then there is no room in my heart for forgiveness. You, Mr. Marty Corey, have no place in my heart for forgiveness. Let me also say, that it is by the grace of God that I was not at the reunion yesterday. You should really thank Him for allowing those stars to align to where I was at work yesterday. I would have torn into you in a way that only a lion can. I would have broke you down so much and so quickly, that the only response from you would have been to piss yourself and fall down in a heap of sloppy tears. When your time on this earth is done, Marty Corey, God will go through your entire life with you. He will point to your actions with Amanda and I and He will weep. He will ask you why you abandoned those whom you were put in charge of. He will ask you why you did not do as His son told you to do, and that is to love. God will judge you for your sins and He will tell you the kind of hypocrite you have been your ENTIRE life! He will then look to His Son and see your sins upon Jesus' back. He will look back to you and tell you that He still loves you and that He forgives you. He will then tell you that "Joe Olmsted still loves you and that Joe Olmsted forgives you, because that is what I have called Joe Olmsted to do."
In closing, if you wish to share this with Marty Corey, please do. I would LOVE for him to see how his poor choices affected two young lives so much.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Random Ramblings
I have typed out and deleted this first line about four times. There is so much that I have to talk about, but I don't/won't reveal too much, if anything of my plans. I just typed out and deleted this sentence twice as well. There is just so much on my mind and I have so much that I want to talk about, I just can't. Not yet. One thing I can talk about though is that I have been doing a lot of praying lately, and a lot of listening to God. I have yet to hear a perfectly clear answer, but I am starting to see the writing on the wall and I am paying close attention to it and to Him. What is going on in my life right now, I am not taking lightly or nonchalantly. I am very serious about what is going on and I am very focused on the future of my family. I know, I know...very cryptic. I promise, answers are coming soon. Hopefully sooner, rather than later.
Ya know, I do well enough every day to get out of bed and just break down in tears or fly off the handle and go on a shooting rampage. With everything I have dealt with in my past and everything that I am dealing with currently, I should be given an award every single day that I don't break down or snap. That is no joke either. I am not looking for sympathy or an "Aw, it'll be okay", so please don't. I get by because of the strength that my God gives me. I make it through each day because I am learning to give all of my problems to Him and to allow Him to deal with them. I know that I am not strong enough to handle what I have been through, nor could I even attempt to deal with any of them by themselves, let alone all at once. No matter the storm that I am standing in, no matter how much pain and strife that comes my way, I will praise Him. I will thank Him for all that He has blessed me with and no matter what, He is still on the throne! I have heard a thousand or more times by so many different people "God will not give you more than you can handle." That's a great saying! But where does it say that in the bible? Where did Jesus say that? Wait a second, you mean he never said that at all? It was never written in the bible by anybody? I see, so it is just that, a great saying. I feel and TRULY believe that God wants us to give Him ALL of our problems, no matter how big or small. ALL OF THEM! In the book of Matthew, 11:29 Jesus says "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls". Philippians 4: 6-7 says this about giving your problems to God; "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". So you see, nowhere does it say to handle our problems on our own. So, I'm not. I am giving the all to God.
I still have no idea where this blog post is headed. Most likely, it is going nowhere, but I felt compelled to write it nonetheless. Sometimes just getting some of the thoughts out of your head is helpful. Sometimes it is best to express something, even if it amounts to nothing. I know that I am not as close to God as I have been or as I should be. I plan to remedy that though. Prayer. It is something that is so important to a Jesus Follower, yet it is something that is so difficult to us all. I have heard from a bunch of people, "I'm just too busy to pray". I feel that way a lot. But now that I am trying to refocus on Him, I have realized that I'm too busy NOT to pray! With my job, my family and life in general I have started wondering how I have survived this long without prayer. The truth is, I haven't. So many wrong decisions have been made, too many wrong things have been said and too many mistakes were made while I was off trying to do it on my own. Time to focus once more and put Him in my sight at all times. Time to make God the center of my world once again. Most of all it is time to stop trusting in me and start trusting in Him.
It is interesting to see where things take you when you put your whole trust in God. It is amazing to watch Him work for good.
It is time to tune out the American Noise and start turning my eyes to Him.
No matter where I am standing, there is a storm all around me. No matter how much the storm may rage, I will praise You!
Monday, March 31, 2014
*Cough, cough* "I'm sick, or gonna die"
It's been a while, but I'm back. Back for another round of griping and complaining. Today's topic is healthcare. A touchy subject. I really am just going to give you my thoughts on how to fix healthcare. It is simple, it is easy and it is something that all politicians, whether a Republican't or a Democrap , could accept.
First of all let me preface this by saying that I can't stand politicians. I can't stand almost all of them. Whether they are at a National, State or local level, they are NOT looking out for those who put them in office. It is about their own agenda. Period. If you believe otherwise, then you're a fool. To be very truthful, a friend of mine and I have spoken at great length about how we just need to evict them all at once and start over, using only actual citizens that have a vested interest in this country. Not a politician. The system is broken folks and it doesn't matter which party you bring in to office, they will seriously screw something up. Be it Ol' Uncle Dubbya and his money draining wars or the silver tongued Obama and his Affordable Care Act. They both screwed our country so bad that it is nearly irreparable.
For the last few days I have been reading a lot of articles about the Affordable Care Act and how badly it will affect our country. In a speech some time ago about the Affordable Care Act, President Barack Obama said that if you like your doctor, you can keep them. Now, that is not a certainty at all. Most higher tier hospitals and specialists will not even consider you if you have purchased insurance through the Affordable Care Act. Going through a lesser doctor is essentially like having no doctor at all. Although the argument could be made that some care is better than no care. I guess that really depends upon the care. If you have a specialist who is one of the best in a 5 state area who knows exactly what their doing, verses a doctor who is kind of clueless and is just throwing prescriptions at you...who would you rather go to? Just the other day I read that by the year 2025, that is only eleven years from now, the insurance and healthcare landscape will be no different than it was 10 years ago. The rich getting in to the best doctors and the poor and middle class will be left to fend for themselves and die. So what is the ACA actually doing??? Nothing if you ask me.
My boss at work told me the other day that in the next few years he sees our company dropping everyone from health insurance. He says that it will be cheaper for companies to pay the fines that come from the ACA verses actually providing coverage for their employees. Ya know, he is right. I can really see this happening as well. Our healthcare system is one of the worst in the world. We have a system that is ranked LOWER than third world countries. Our system ranks 37th in the world. THIRTY SEVENTH!!! Let that soak in for just a moment. Okay, are you back with me now? Here are some countries that rank higher than us. San Marino is 34 spots higher than us. Andorra is 33 spots higher than us. Malta is 32 spots higher than us. Oman, Cyprus and Costa Rica, ALL HAVE A BETTER HEALTHCARE SYSTEM THAN US!!! So what are we going to do about it? What can we do about it other than eliminate the impostors that are in office right now? We could always go for a total V for Vendetta type of revolution, but what would it do? In the end, nothing. Take Edward Snowden for example. This man should not be wanted for treason, but hailed as a HERO!
So here is my very simple solution. Instead of wasting BILLIONS of tax dollars setting up the AFA, just open up Medicaid to everyone. Make it a viable insurance option. Make those who can afford it, pay for it and those who still can't afford it, pay very little to nothing for it. Don't let the insurance companies dictate what can and cannot be paid for. Make it all available. If someone like me wants to do Gastric Bypass surgery, make it available. But make me pay for some of it. 90/10 or 80/20. SOMETHING. But don't deny anything for anyone that is HEALTH RELATED! Boob jobs and liposuction don't count. Sorry, ladies. It really is that simple.
The bottom line about healthcare is this folks, things are bad in our country. Really bad. When it comes time to elect public officials again, don't let the party name affect your decision as to who you're voting for. Do your research and vote for the person who makes the most sense when it comes to our country. Don't let partisanship dictate how you cast your ballot this year. Make sure you know the issues at hand, one of them being the healthcare system in this country and how it NEEDS to change!
First of all let me preface this by saying that I can't stand politicians. I can't stand almost all of them. Whether they are at a National, State or local level, they are NOT looking out for those who put them in office. It is about their own agenda. Period. If you believe otherwise, then you're a fool. To be very truthful, a friend of mine and I have spoken at great length about how we just need to evict them all at once and start over, using only actual citizens that have a vested interest in this country. Not a politician. The system is broken folks and it doesn't matter which party you bring in to office, they will seriously screw something up. Be it Ol' Uncle Dubbya and his money draining wars or the silver tongued Obama and his Affordable Care Act. They both screwed our country so bad that it is nearly irreparable.
For the last few days I have been reading a lot of articles about the Affordable Care Act and how badly it will affect our country. In a speech some time ago about the Affordable Care Act, President Barack Obama said that if you like your doctor, you can keep them. Now, that is not a certainty at all. Most higher tier hospitals and specialists will not even consider you if you have purchased insurance through the Affordable Care Act. Going through a lesser doctor is essentially like having no doctor at all. Although the argument could be made that some care is better than no care. I guess that really depends upon the care. If you have a specialist who is one of the best in a 5 state area who knows exactly what their doing, verses a doctor who is kind of clueless and is just throwing prescriptions at you...who would you rather go to? Just the other day I read that by the year 2025, that is only eleven years from now, the insurance and healthcare landscape will be no different than it was 10 years ago. The rich getting in to the best doctors and the poor and middle class will be left to fend for themselves and die. So what is the ACA actually doing??? Nothing if you ask me.
My boss at work told me the other day that in the next few years he sees our company dropping everyone from health insurance. He says that it will be cheaper for companies to pay the fines that come from the ACA verses actually providing coverage for their employees. Ya know, he is right. I can really see this happening as well. Our healthcare system is one of the worst in the world. We have a system that is ranked LOWER than third world countries. Our system ranks 37th in the world. THIRTY SEVENTH!!! Let that soak in for just a moment. Okay, are you back with me now? Here are some countries that rank higher than us. San Marino is 34 spots higher than us. Andorra is 33 spots higher than us. Malta is 32 spots higher than us. Oman, Cyprus and Costa Rica, ALL HAVE A BETTER HEALTHCARE SYSTEM THAN US!!! So what are we going to do about it? What can we do about it other than eliminate the impostors that are in office right now? We could always go for a total V for Vendetta type of revolution, but what would it do? In the end, nothing. Take Edward Snowden for example. This man should not be wanted for treason, but hailed as a HERO!
So here is my very simple solution. Instead of wasting BILLIONS of tax dollars setting up the AFA, just open up Medicaid to everyone. Make it a viable insurance option. Make those who can afford it, pay for it and those who still can't afford it, pay very little to nothing for it. Don't let the insurance companies dictate what can and cannot be paid for. Make it all available. If someone like me wants to do Gastric Bypass surgery, make it available. But make me pay for some of it. 90/10 or 80/20. SOMETHING. But don't deny anything for anyone that is HEALTH RELATED! Boob jobs and liposuction don't count. Sorry, ladies. It really is that simple.
The bottom line about healthcare is this folks, things are bad in our country. Really bad. When it comes time to elect public officials again, don't let the party name affect your decision as to who you're voting for. Do your research and vote for the person who makes the most sense when it comes to our country. Don't let partisanship dictate how you cast your ballot this year. Make sure you know the issues at hand, one of them being the healthcare system in this country and how it NEEDS to change!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
A Day In The Life Of An Aspie
Wake up, go to the bathroom and brush teeth very quickly and half assed, get dressed very quickly and get ready for school and wait. For 20 minutes, wait. Go to school, and go through every day routine and not understand a thing about the world around me except for my studies. Talk to my one and only friend that I have in the entire universe once, maybe twice the entire day. Come home, eat a snack, do homework, play video games, eat dinner while continuing to play video games and have to be reminded twice to finish dinner, shower in under two minutes, go to bed, all with the TV on all day long except while at school.
Welcome to a day in the life of my son who has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's Syndrome is under the Autism umbrella. If you don't know what Autism is, then I am about to explain it as simple as I possibly can. Take the average day that my son has, and take out the "do homework, play video games and eat dinner" part and put in any kind of event or activity that you want. Now, imagine the biggest temper tantrum that you have ever seen in your life from a young child and multiply it by a billion. THAT is how someone with Asperger's or Autism reacts when a wrench is thrown into their day. Now, this isn't the way my son reacts to every or any situation. BUT, it has the potential to be. My son has been taught coping skills. That's something that not everyone under the Autism umbrella can say. Most of them will implode and have a meltdown on a nuclear scale.
I don't expect you to understand it. I don't expect you to sympathize with any person who does understand it. But what I hope you do is educate yourself. Educate yourself enough so that you aren't the person in a restaurant acting a fool whenever a child with autism has a meltdown. Educate yourself so that when you encounter someone with autism who is not a child, you don't do or say something that you might regret later, or that might send that person into a meltdown and hurt themselves or someone else in the process.
My son is a normal, average looking person. You would never know by looking at him that he has Asperger's Syndrome. But if you watch him closely, if you really keep an eye on him and watch his mannerisms, you'll see it. You'll see him swaying softly back and forth as he is trying to stand still. You'll observe him not looking you in the eye, even if you're trying to talk to him. He doesn't trust you enough to look you in the eye. He is afraid you'll make fun of him because of his Asperger's. But looking at him, you would never know he has a form of autism. My son, like so many other people in this world that has been diagnosed with any form of autism, just wants you to accept them for who they are. Those same people want you to tolerate the behaviors that they most of the time cannot help. They don't want their behavior to be acceptable to the world, they just want you to understand that they can't and never will act in a way that the world deems as "normal".
I have written this line and deleted it three times. Every time I start to write something, it comes across as me being arrogant or like I am better than you because I understand and I sympathize. But that isn't the case at all. Most parents will never know the pain that they feel when their son or daughter tells them that they only have one friend and that no one at school likes them. Most people will never experience that pain in their entire life. But an Aspie, someone with Autism, they feel it every day. They feel it all the time.
The reason I wrote this is so that the next time you meet someone and they say or do something that might piss you off, you don't respond in a hateful or mean manner. Don't start bullying them, being mean to them, saying mean, hurtful and hateful words to them. If a person says or does something that offends you or makes you angry, please, take a step back and think. Don't fly off the handle and be a jerk. Remember, the person could have a form of Autism. By treating them with respect and letting them know in a mild tone that what they did to hurt you, could change their life and yours as well.
All too often in this world, someone will say or do something that makes our blood boil. I know I am guilty of it just as much as everyone else. However, I have been blessed with a great son who has been diagnosed with something that has made me stop and think about things before I do them or say them. There is only one thing anymore that makes me lose my mind without thinking about it first and that is treating my son in a rude, hateful, disrespectful, mean, pissy, jerky, angry, and douchey way. If you disrespect my son because of something he does or says that he can't control, you will most likely be sorry for doing so. So just think about things before you spout off at the mouth to someone. That person could be my son.
Welcome to a day in the life of my son who has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's Syndrome is under the Autism umbrella. If you don't know what Autism is, then I am about to explain it as simple as I possibly can. Take the average day that my son has, and take out the "do homework, play video games and eat dinner" part and put in any kind of event or activity that you want. Now, imagine the biggest temper tantrum that you have ever seen in your life from a young child and multiply it by a billion. THAT is how someone with Asperger's or Autism reacts when a wrench is thrown into their day. Now, this isn't the way my son reacts to every or any situation. BUT, it has the potential to be. My son has been taught coping skills. That's something that not everyone under the Autism umbrella can say. Most of them will implode and have a meltdown on a nuclear scale.
I don't expect you to understand it. I don't expect you to sympathize with any person who does understand it. But what I hope you do is educate yourself. Educate yourself enough so that you aren't the person in a restaurant acting a fool whenever a child with autism has a meltdown. Educate yourself so that when you encounter someone with autism who is not a child, you don't do or say something that you might regret later, or that might send that person into a meltdown and hurt themselves or someone else in the process.
My son is a normal, average looking person. You would never know by looking at him that he has Asperger's Syndrome. But if you watch him closely, if you really keep an eye on him and watch his mannerisms, you'll see it. You'll see him swaying softly back and forth as he is trying to stand still. You'll observe him not looking you in the eye, even if you're trying to talk to him. He doesn't trust you enough to look you in the eye. He is afraid you'll make fun of him because of his Asperger's. But looking at him, you would never know he has a form of autism. My son, like so many other people in this world that has been diagnosed with any form of autism, just wants you to accept them for who they are. Those same people want you to tolerate the behaviors that they most of the time cannot help. They don't want their behavior to be acceptable to the world, they just want you to understand that they can't and never will act in a way that the world deems as "normal".
I have written this line and deleted it three times. Every time I start to write something, it comes across as me being arrogant or like I am better than you because I understand and I sympathize. But that isn't the case at all. Most parents will never know the pain that they feel when their son or daughter tells them that they only have one friend and that no one at school likes them. Most people will never experience that pain in their entire life. But an Aspie, someone with Autism, they feel it every day. They feel it all the time.
The reason I wrote this is so that the next time you meet someone and they say or do something that might piss you off, you don't respond in a hateful or mean manner. Don't start bullying them, being mean to them, saying mean, hurtful and hateful words to them. If a person says or does something that offends you or makes you angry, please, take a step back and think. Don't fly off the handle and be a jerk. Remember, the person could have a form of Autism. By treating them with respect and letting them know in a mild tone that what they did to hurt you, could change their life and yours as well.
All too often in this world, someone will say or do something that makes our blood boil. I know I am guilty of it just as much as everyone else. However, I have been blessed with a great son who has been diagnosed with something that has made me stop and think about things before I do them or say them. There is only one thing anymore that makes me lose my mind without thinking about it first and that is treating my son in a rude, hateful, disrespectful, mean, pissy, jerky, angry, and douchey way. If you disrespect my son because of something he does or says that he can't control, you will most likely be sorry for doing so. So just think about things before you spout off at the mouth to someone. That person could be my son.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
A Look Inside
Many of you who read this blog, know me. You know that I love telling stories and that I love to share a good laugh with those I care for. But ultimately, I am a private person. I don't like letting people know when I'm having issues. I don't want people to know if there are troubles in my home, in my marriage and in my life. I would just assume keep that part of me private, thank you very much. What happens in my life, is my problem to deal with. I have always felt this way and to be honest, it will take some massive amounts of will power for my opinion on the matter to change. I want it to change, it is just going to be a struggle.
My story today starts at church this morning. It has been so long since we have been able to make it to church. I miss it, so much. I know that in my profession that I have to work most weekends, I get it. I either have to work on Sunday or I work late Saturday night and can't wake up in time to make it to church if I am off on Sunday. Today is only the fourth or fifth time in 2013 that we have made it to church. So when I woke up at 9 A.M., I made it a point to make sure we went to church. The music was great and the teaching was outstanding, but my mind was no place to be hanging out in. I had so many bad thoughts running through my head that I just wanted to scream! No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get the bad thoughts out of my head. I tried my best to pay as close attention to the teaching as I could, because I figured that if my mind is under this much assault from satan that there must be something that is being said that he doesn't want me to hear. It turned out that I was right.
The message was about King Uzziah and his rise and fall. It is found in II Chronicles 26. He became king at the age of 16 and died a leper. He reigned for fifty two years and amassed so much power that he believed he had to do the jobs of the priests as well. This made God very unhappy and the blessings from the Lord stopped and the rapid downfall began. During the sermon, it was said that we always tend to get off to a great start when we do things. But it's not how we start, it's how we finish. That really struck a chord with me. Often times we get a "brilliant idea" and we start off with a bang! Then over time the idea fades and what was once brilliant, is now just a flash in the pan. Weight loss programs and dieting are the biggest examples of this. Our pastor went on to say that as long as King Uzziah was faithful to and stayed focused on the Lord, that he was prosperous in everything he did. But the moment Uzziah tried to do things for himself, it all fell apart.
I started thinking that this is exactly what happens in my life. A while ago I took it upon myself to try to find my own happiness. I failed. I was miserable at work and not much better at home. I hated my life so much that I honestly did not care if I lived or died. I had a stretch of about two and a half months where every time I worked, I was closing. I never saw my kids and I barely saw my wife. I hated everything. I was at the very bottom of the well and had no where else to look but up. So I prayed. I begged God to present me a new or different opportunity. I pleaded with Him to get me out of my current situation. Because of my faithfulness to Him, He was faithful to me and granted me His blessings. Once I arrived to my new place of employment, I stopped praying. I stopped focusing on God and I turned away from Him yet again. I am following the same path as King Uzziah. Is it any surprise to anyone that I am starting to become miserable again? Is it any shock at all that I am starting to notice that the relationship between my wife and I is starting to become testy again? Just today we started picking at each other once more. Luckily, it didn't escalate into a huge argument. But it could have.
So I need to stop being King Uzziah. I need to finish strong. I have to remain faithful to God and keep my focus on Him. I have to stop trying to do things myself and let Him guide my life. I have to find myself in His word more and more. When I am focused on Him, I am happy. I have a purpose and I have a zest for life. When I am living for myself, I'm a bit of an asshole. I don't want to be that person anymore. I need to start strong and I need to finish strong.
My story today starts at church this morning. It has been so long since we have been able to make it to church. I miss it, so much. I know that in my profession that I have to work most weekends, I get it. I either have to work on Sunday or I work late Saturday night and can't wake up in time to make it to church if I am off on Sunday. Today is only the fourth or fifth time in 2013 that we have made it to church. So when I woke up at 9 A.M., I made it a point to make sure we went to church. The music was great and the teaching was outstanding, but my mind was no place to be hanging out in. I had so many bad thoughts running through my head that I just wanted to scream! No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't get the bad thoughts out of my head. I tried my best to pay as close attention to the teaching as I could, because I figured that if my mind is under this much assault from satan that there must be something that is being said that he doesn't want me to hear. It turned out that I was right.
The message was about King Uzziah and his rise and fall. It is found in II Chronicles 26. He became king at the age of 16 and died a leper. He reigned for fifty two years and amassed so much power that he believed he had to do the jobs of the priests as well. This made God very unhappy and the blessings from the Lord stopped and the rapid downfall began. During the sermon, it was said that we always tend to get off to a great start when we do things. But it's not how we start, it's how we finish. That really struck a chord with me. Often times we get a "brilliant idea" and we start off with a bang! Then over time the idea fades and what was once brilliant, is now just a flash in the pan. Weight loss programs and dieting are the biggest examples of this. Our pastor went on to say that as long as King Uzziah was faithful to and stayed focused on the Lord, that he was prosperous in everything he did. But the moment Uzziah tried to do things for himself, it all fell apart.
I started thinking that this is exactly what happens in my life. A while ago I took it upon myself to try to find my own happiness. I failed. I was miserable at work and not much better at home. I hated my life so much that I honestly did not care if I lived or died. I had a stretch of about two and a half months where every time I worked, I was closing. I never saw my kids and I barely saw my wife. I hated everything. I was at the very bottom of the well and had no where else to look but up. So I prayed. I begged God to present me a new or different opportunity. I pleaded with Him to get me out of my current situation. Because of my faithfulness to Him, He was faithful to me and granted me His blessings. Once I arrived to my new place of employment, I stopped praying. I stopped focusing on God and I turned away from Him yet again. I am following the same path as King Uzziah. Is it any surprise to anyone that I am starting to become miserable again? Is it any shock at all that I am starting to notice that the relationship between my wife and I is starting to become testy again? Just today we started picking at each other once more. Luckily, it didn't escalate into a huge argument. But it could have.
So I need to stop being King Uzziah. I need to finish strong. I have to remain faithful to God and keep my focus on Him. I have to stop trying to do things myself and let Him guide my life. I have to find myself in His word more and more. When I am focused on Him, I am happy. I have a purpose and I have a zest for life. When I am living for myself, I'm a bit of an asshole. I don't want to be that person anymore. I need to start strong and I need to finish strong.
Friday, July 19, 2013
All About Geeks
As most of you know, I am a geek. I wear my badge proudly. I have my Pikachu Limited Edition Nintendo 3DS, I have Superman and Batman tattooed on my body, I collect toys and comic books and own plenty of superhero video games and apparel. I have even went to countless "geek" conventions, most recently the Indy Toy and Comic Expo in Indianapolis, put on by my very good friend, Billy Cooper. I watched every episode of Smallville and have so far, watched every episode of Arrow. I love almost everything "superhero" and "comics" related. Almost. I have watched every comic book movie that is out there. Yes, I even tortured myself and watched Elektra and Catwoman.
We didn't have many comic book movies when I was growing up. There was the Batman television series, Wonder Woman series and Incredible Hulk series. There were the Christopher Reeve driven Superman films in a time before even VCRs. Back when going to the movies wasn't for every family. In 1989, Warner Bros and Tim Burton brought us Batman. A good flick despite its MANY flaws. Then the market went stale with only Batman trash being thrown at us occasionally. Those movies do not exist. Just don't argue with me about it. Then in 2000, an independent film direct named Bryan Singer and Fox Studios brought us X-Men, and comic book movies as we knew it, changed forever.
In the past 13 years, the market has become flooded with great, good and not so good comic book movies. The Avengers, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Superman Returns, The Dark Knight, Thor, Green Lantern, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The list goes on and on. There is no sign of this monster slowing down either. While we do get some great comic book films, we also get some giant bombs. Catwoman, Elektra, Green Lantern, Superman Returns, X-Men: The Last Stand, just to name a few. I have issues with movie studios making trash comic book movies for one simple reason, there is already source material and excellent story lines out there to use! How can you mess up that script?!?!
It really bothers me when Hollyweird takes a great property and completely messes it up. Fox and Warner Bros. seem to be the biggest culprits in this crime against geeks. Marvel has done a pretty good job of not screwing up too badly with the movies, with Elektra being the exception. I can even forgive them for Daredevil, simply because the script was written by Kevin Smith. Fox and Warner have definitely given us the motherload of stinkers over time. Catwoman, Green Lantern, Superman Returns, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fantastic Four and Rise of the Silver Surfer. There have been so many great comics written over the past century and so few of those actually turned into movies. Sure, there are some elements from books sprinkled in here and there, but so very few that are straight from the pages. Watchmen is one of those that is pretty much shot frame for frame, so kudos to Warner and Zack Snyder for doing that. I really have no idea where I'm going with all of this, just to say that how can you make a giant turd of a movie when there are so many great stories already written? And who is the idiot sitting in their penthouse office who gives the go ahead for these atrocities? Take Green Lantern for example. Most people went to see it because of Ryan Reynolds, that's okay, I guess, but it was a horrible film. Green Lantern is such a GREAT character. The Green Lantern Corps. is such a wonderful idea that could have been used so much better than it was. Take for instance the planet Oa. It is barely seen in the film yet in the comics it is an eye popping landscape that would make even a blind person say "wow". Half of the movie takes place on Oa and you see none of it. Such a disappointment. Just another example of a bad comic book movie. And don't even get me started on X-Men 3 and Spiderman 3, because I will seriously go nuts. Those two movies are the biggest pieces of garbage on the planet.
Over the next few years we are going to get a lot of comic book movies tossed our way. Some will be good, some will be not so good and hopefully some will be great. Marvel Studios will be releasing 3 movies in the next year and a half. Thor, Captain America and Guardians of the Galaxy. Fox Studios will be releasing The Wolverine (HOPEFULLY a redemption film) and X-Men: Days of Future Past. Sony will be releasing the second Amazing Spider-Man soon as well. So there are quite a few movies coming out in the near future that feature our favorite comic book heroes. In case you didn't notice, I didn't mention anything about Warner Bros. releasing any DC Comics property any time soon. Well, okay, Man of Steel did just come out, but there are no plans at all for another DC film in the foreseeable future. Horrible comic book movies have got to stop folks. I'm not saying that the films have to be perfect, but just be good. Man of Steel wasn't a perfect movie, but it was good. The Dark Knight wasn't a perfect movie, but it was good. The Avengers was far from a perfect movie, but it was good. Just make our comic book movies good. Make them enjoyable, and please, for the love of everything holy, stop releasing garbage like Green Lantern.
We didn't have many comic book movies when I was growing up. There was the Batman television series, Wonder Woman series and Incredible Hulk series. There were the Christopher Reeve driven Superman films in a time before even VCRs. Back when going to the movies wasn't for every family. In 1989, Warner Bros and Tim Burton brought us Batman. A good flick despite its MANY flaws. Then the market went stale with only Batman trash being thrown at us occasionally. Those movies do not exist. Just don't argue with me about it. Then in 2000, an independent film direct named Bryan Singer and Fox Studios brought us X-Men, and comic book movies as we knew it, changed forever.
In the past 13 years, the market has become flooded with great, good and not so good comic book movies. The Avengers, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Superman Returns, The Dark Knight, Thor, Green Lantern, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The list goes on and on. There is no sign of this monster slowing down either. While we do get some great comic book films, we also get some giant bombs. Catwoman, Elektra, Green Lantern, Superman Returns, X-Men: The Last Stand, just to name a few. I have issues with movie studios making trash comic book movies for one simple reason, there is already source material and excellent story lines out there to use! How can you mess up that script?!?!
It really bothers me when Hollyweird takes a great property and completely messes it up. Fox and Warner Bros. seem to be the biggest culprits in this crime against geeks. Marvel has done a pretty good job of not screwing up too badly with the movies, with Elektra being the exception. I can even forgive them for Daredevil, simply because the script was written by Kevin Smith. Fox and Warner have definitely given us the motherload of stinkers over time. Catwoman, Green Lantern, Superman Returns, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Fantastic Four and Rise of the Silver Surfer. There have been so many great comics written over the past century and so few of those actually turned into movies. Sure, there are some elements from books sprinkled in here and there, but so very few that are straight from the pages. Watchmen is one of those that is pretty much shot frame for frame, so kudos to Warner and Zack Snyder for doing that. I really have no idea where I'm going with all of this, just to say that how can you make a giant turd of a movie when there are so many great stories already written? And who is the idiot sitting in their penthouse office who gives the go ahead for these atrocities? Take Green Lantern for example. Most people went to see it because of Ryan Reynolds, that's okay, I guess, but it was a horrible film. Green Lantern is such a GREAT character. The Green Lantern Corps. is such a wonderful idea that could have been used so much better than it was. Take for instance the planet Oa. It is barely seen in the film yet in the comics it is an eye popping landscape that would make even a blind person say "wow". Half of the movie takes place on Oa and you see none of it. Such a disappointment. Just another example of a bad comic book movie. And don't even get me started on X-Men 3 and Spiderman 3, because I will seriously go nuts. Those two movies are the biggest pieces of garbage on the planet.
Over the next few years we are going to get a lot of comic book movies tossed our way. Some will be good, some will be not so good and hopefully some will be great. Marvel Studios will be releasing 3 movies in the next year and a half. Thor, Captain America and Guardians of the Galaxy. Fox Studios will be releasing The Wolverine (HOPEFULLY a redemption film) and X-Men: Days of Future Past. Sony will be releasing the second Amazing Spider-Man soon as well. So there are quite a few movies coming out in the near future that feature our favorite comic book heroes. In case you didn't notice, I didn't mention anything about Warner Bros. releasing any DC Comics property any time soon. Well, okay, Man of Steel did just come out, but there are no plans at all for another DC film in the foreseeable future. Horrible comic book movies have got to stop folks. I'm not saying that the films have to be perfect, but just be good. Man of Steel wasn't a perfect movie, but it was good. The Dark Knight wasn't a perfect movie, but it was good. The Avengers was far from a perfect movie, but it was good. Just make our comic book movies good. Make them enjoyable, and please, for the love of everything holy, stop releasing garbage like Green Lantern.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Getting The Shaft
My goodness it's been a LONG time since I've blogged. But, this needs to be done. These things NEED to be said. If what I say offends you or you don't like it, don't read it. That being said, I have to get these things off my chest or else I might explode. So without further ado...
What the heck is wrong with me??? Am I such a horrible person that not even God wants to be my friend? Am I really so awful that I lose friends like most people lose their car keys? Why have I lost four friends, no, not friends, family, people that I have called my family, in less than a year? Matt, Amanda, Gary and Josh. In that order. Why? What did I do? Matt and Amanda I can sort of understand. They swim in a pool of never ending drama. They eat, drink and sleep drama. When they poop the drama that they have eaten, there is drama in it. Eventually, it was going to catch up to me. Sooner or later, their drama was going to consume me. It did. I have lost two friends. It sucks that I've had to pay a lot of money because of their drama, but I did and I'm happy that it is almost over with them. There is still some legal issues going on, but I don't want to talk about it right now. That is for a different blog once it is all said and done.
Gary? He was my longest tenured friend. I have gone to battle with this man a hundred times. We won some, we've lost some. He and I met while working together at Nice-Pak. Good kid. A bit misguided, but I liked him. He was funny, and he and I had a lot of stuff in common. We both loved the Highlander movies, we both loved Star Wars and he was a closet WWE lover. I met Gary when it was still the 90's, that's how long he and I have been friends. Eventually, he met a girl and married her. He went his way, I went mine. We hooked back up a few months later because, well, that's just what friends do. They find a way. He then introduced me to another one of my best friends. And we were the three amigos. We were always together and we all had so much in common. Then Gary wanted to make his father proud and go fight for Ol' Dubbya. Yes, I am proud of him for doing that. When Gary came home after 3 years, he was different. I wasn't the only one that noticed it. He still came around, yes, but he was different. I knew that a bomb was going to drop any time. And it did. After a spat about guns (I don't like them, he does), he eliminated me off of Facebook. No matter. That doesn't bother me. But when I asked him about it, he just basically said that he didn't mean to, but that he and I were different. And that was basically it. I have lost another friend. I haven't heard from him since July 4th, 2012. I miss the kid like crazy and I hope his life is good. I wish him the happiness that he has struggled to find.
Then there's Josh. I took this kid in. I took him under my wing at BK. I cared for him, I loved him. I tried to show him what it meant to be a friend and I tried to show him how a father can love a son. I took him to King's Island with us to Spirit Song. I paid for his food and his ticket to the concert. I helped him buy a car, I helped him buy a cell phone and even put him on our cell phone plan. I got him a promotion at Burger King. When I went to Chili's, I brought him with me. When I left the Franklin store and went to my home store in Bloomington, I told him to come out and see me as often as he wanted and to make sure he either brought or mailed me the cell phone payment at the beginning of every month. He agreed and off I went. I immediately had to remind him to bring me the cell phone payment (this became a monthly ritual). I bought him a really great Christmas gift and received nothing in return. That's okay, it's better to give than to receive. I did my best to try to show Josh in many different ways that he was loved. That he wasn't alone and he didn't have to face the world alone. He didn't have to go through this life by himself. He had friends who loved him dearly. A few weeks ago, I noticed that I had not seen anything from him on Facebook for a long time. I mentioned something about it to Amanda and she told me that he had deleted and blocked her on Facebook. Weird. So I sent him a text. Nothing. I called him. Nothing. I called and I texted and I texted and I called and I never heard a word from him. I was starting to get worried about him. So I got a hold of a mutual friend and asked him about Josh. Josh had a new cell phone. One that wasn't on our cell phone plan. So I got his new phone number and contacted him. I got the typical, "oh, I just didn't know how to get a hold of you" lines. I knew what was coming. I could see the writing on the wall. I got in touch with him this past Friday to once more let him know that the cell phone payment was still due. I told him if he just gave me the money to cancel the phone, then we would call it even. He did. As he handed me that money, I hugged him one more time and told him I loved him. I smiled and nodded as he lied to me by saying he loved me too.
Tonight I sent him an email asking what I had done to him. Why he was so angry at me. The email had been viewed, but I didn't get a response. I have lost yet another friend. My friendship is not cherished. My feelings are not cared for. I am tired of hurting each time I lose another friend. My heart has shattered into a thousand tiny pieces once more. I don't know what I am doing wrong.
So if you claim to be my friend, if you think you and I are pals, please, let me know if I'm doing wrong. Because I cannot stand to lose another person in this life. I have lost my entire family, I don't want to lose you too.
What the heck is wrong with me??? Am I such a horrible person that not even God wants to be my friend? Am I really so awful that I lose friends like most people lose their car keys? Why have I lost four friends, no, not friends, family, people that I have called my family, in less than a year? Matt, Amanda, Gary and Josh. In that order. Why? What did I do? Matt and Amanda I can sort of understand. They swim in a pool of never ending drama. They eat, drink and sleep drama. When they poop the drama that they have eaten, there is drama in it. Eventually, it was going to catch up to me. Sooner or later, their drama was going to consume me. It did. I have lost two friends. It sucks that I've had to pay a lot of money because of their drama, but I did and I'm happy that it is almost over with them. There is still some legal issues going on, but I don't want to talk about it right now. That is for a different blog once it is all said and done.
Gary? He was my longest tenured friend. I have gone to battle with this man a hundred times. We won some, we've lost some. He and I met while working together at Nice-Pak. Good kid. A bit misguided, but I liked him. He was funny, and he and I had a lot of stuff in common. We both loved the Highlander movies, we both loved Star Wars and he was a closet WWE lover. I met Gary when it was still the 90's, that's how long he and I have been friends. Eventually, he met a girl and married her. He went his way, I went mine. We hooked back up a few months later because, well, that's just what friends do. They find a way. He then introduced me to another one of my best friends. And we were the three amigos. We were always together and we all had so much in common. Then Gary wanted to make his father proud and go fight for Ol' Dubbya. Yes, I am proud of him for doing that. When Gary came home after 3 years, he was different. I wasn't the only one that noticed it. He still came around, yes, but he was different. I knew that a bomb was going to drop any time. And it did. After a spat about guns (I don't like them, he does), he eliminated me off of Facebook. No matter. That doesn't bother me. But when I asked him about it, he just basically said that he didn't mean to, but that he and I were different. And that was basically it. I have lost another friend. I haven't heard from him since July 4th, 2012. I miss the kid like crazy and I hope his life is good. I wish him the happiness that he has struggled to find.
Then there's Josh. I took this kid in. I took him under my wing at BK. I cared for him, I loved him. I tried to show him what it meant to be a friend and I tried to show him how a father can love a son. I took him to King's Island with us to Spirit Song. I paid for his food and his ticket to the concert. I helped him buy a car, I helped him buy a cell phone and even put him on our cell phone plan. I got him a promotion at Burger King. When I went to Chili's, I brought him with me. When I left the Franklin store and went to my home store in Bloomington, I told him to come out and see me as often as he wanted and to make sure he either brought or mailed me the cell phone payment at the beginning of every month. He agreed and off I went. I immediately had to remind him to bring me the cell phone payment (this became a monthly ritual). I bought him a really great Christmas gift and received nothing in return. That's okay, it's better to give than to receive. I did my best to try to show Josh in many different ways that he was loved. That he wasn't alone and he didn't have to face the world alone. He didn't have to go through this life by himself. He had friends who loved him dearly. A few weeks ago, I noticed that I had not seen anything from him on Facebook for a long time. I mentioned something about it to Amanda and she told me that he had deleted and blocked her on Facebook. Weird. So I sent him a text. Nothing. I called him. Nothing. I called and I texted and I texted and I called and I never heard a word from him. I was starting to get worried about him. So I got a hold of a mutual friend and asked him about Josh. Josh had a new cell phone. One that wasn't on our cell phone plan. So I got his new phone number and contacted him. I got the typical, "oh, I just didn't know how to get a hold of you" lines. I knew what was coming. I could see the writing on the wall. I got in touch with him this past Friday to once more let him know that the cell phone payment was still due. I told him if he just gave me the money to cancel the phone, then we would call it even. He did. As he handed me that money, I hugged him one more time and told him I loved him. I smiled and nodded as he lied to me by saying he loved me too.
Tonight I sent him an email asking what I had done to him. Why he was so angry at me. The email had been viewed, but I didn't get a response. I have lost yet another friend. My friendship is not cherished. My feelings are not cared for. I am tired of hurting each time I lose another friend. My heart has shattered into a thousand tiny pieces once more. I don't know what I am doing wrong.
So if you claim to be my friend, if you think you and I are pals, please, let me know if I'm doing wrong. Because I cannot stand to lose another person in this life. I have lost my entire family, I don't want to lose you too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)