Why I Hate Christmas

Let me start by saying I may use some foul language in this blog.  If that offends you, DO NOT read it.  That's all.

There are many reasons why I love Christmas.  The fact that it is a time to celebrate our Savior's birth.  Being with my wife and kids.  The incredible dinner that I make every year.  The looks on our kids' faces when they open their gifts.  Lots of reasons I love Christmas.  With that being said, I really am starting to hate Christmas.  Our lives are so much different from yours.  I could explain everything to you and take a week to do so, but you still wouldn't understand our lives.  I will try to break it down for you in just a small paragraph.

We have nothing to do with my side of the family.  Or rather, they have nothing to do with us.  We are not welcome there, so we don't go.  It sucks and it is very painful for me, but it is now life.  Luckily, my children do not remember my parents.  I would hate for them to have to experience the pain that I go through on a daily basis as well.  The house in which we live, we are not liked much by my Father in Law. We stay because we have to.  We stay because if we didn't, then he and my sister in law who also live here would not make it on their own.

At Thanksgiving, I spent a ton of money for dinner.  So much that I almost didn't have enough money to get gas for the upcoming week.  The food was devoured and that was it.  Nothing was said, no conversations were had, no one said what they were thankful for.  A week or so after Christmas, Amanda and I put up the tree in the living room.  This is the room where my father in law stays, sleeps and eats in.  The entire time we were down stairs, he pretended to be asleep.  He didn't talk to us, he didn't anything.

Now for today.  It was the same as the day we put up the tree.  We were all very loud.  We were laughing and having a great time.  Hayden got a Pocket Trumpet as one of his gifts.  He began to play it.  My father in law never moved.  He just pretended to sleep.  After we cleaned up, Amanda and I went back upstairs and talked about how much we hate how the holidays are now.  The deeply sad feelings I had from his actions the past few weeks is a feeling I would not wish upon anyone.  We are strangers in the house in which we live.  We miss her Mom very much, especially this particular day.  She NEVER would have allowed behavior like this.  She never would have let a 70+ year old man act like a child.  She was the glue that held this family together, now we have fallen apart.  We feel very much alone.  We have talked about this before and today, more than ever, this rings true, all we have left in this world is the four of us.  Me, Amanda, Hayden and Cullen.  That is it.  Lots of people say they are here for us.  Lots of people tell us that they love us, and we do believe that to be true.  But we are not a part of their family.  We will only ever have the four of us at Thanksgiving and Christmas from here on out.

My side of the family is a HUGE family!  There were 4 of us kids and either 9 or 10 grand kids.  We always had a good time out there at Christmas time.  But now, my family can go fuck themselves!  They are just as responsible for why I hate Christmas as the other side is.  In fact, my parents started my hatred of Christmas.  They are the ones who essentially told us to go away and never return.  Well fuck them!  Fuck them all.  I don't know how those pricks can sleep at night with what they did to us.  I really, truly fucking hate Christmas.  This is resentment that has been building for years.  It just so happens that today sent my hatred of this dumb fucking holiday over the top to PURE hatred.  Fuck Christmas and if you have a hand in my hatred of Christmas, FUCK YOU TOO!  If you know my parents or any of my family or are friends with them here on Facebook, tell them that Joe says "Fuck you for making such a blessed holiday such a piece of fucking shit!"