Be Strong, My Navy Sailor

Disclaimer; For obvious reasons, I am not going to use any names in this blog to protect our Seaman Recruit and those he loves.  I will however be sharing some photos and a few videos, I just hope that's okay.

July of 2015.  That is when this all began for our family.  Our oldest son had graduated High School just a few months prior.  Since he and his best friend were avid lovers of Jazz and all things music, my wife and I took them to New Orleans for a week as a Graduation gift.  We had a wonderful time visiting some of the oldest graveyards in the country, going on ghost tours and enjoying the sights and sounds of the birthplace of Jazz.  Once we got home and got settled back in, reality began to set in on our grad.  He didn't have a path to take for his future and he seemed a little lost.  He finally discovered the Navy and it felt right for him.  He became excited about his future and began his life in the DEP.  He took his oath in September and he said then that he couldn't wait.  Fast forward 6 months to April 10th, 2016.  He began a two day journey into a personal hell that I will try my best to document below.

Sunday April 10th, 2016

He got himself plenty of sleep the night before and seemed in pretty good spirits.  We all knew he was nervous because he wasn't eating much at all.  That we out of the norm for him as he is a foodie and loves to eat Dad's cooking.  He nibbled on things here and there, but he never really ate a full meal.

Monday April 11th, 2016

He slept pretty well again, my wife and I thought maybe his nerves were starting to subside a little.  We were wrong.  I worked a half day so I could come home and take him to the Recruiting Office to pick up his orders and then drop him off at the hotel so he could prepare for his big day.  We stopped at one of his favorite restaurants for a quick bite to eat and one last family meal before he left; Popeye's Chicken.  He ordered a 2 Piece White Dinner, Mild, with Macaroni and Cheese as his side.  He never touched it.  He just covered it with a napkin and left it at that.  Him not eating in a restaurant was nothing new.  He would order it, nibble on it and say he was full, then box it up and take it home.  As soon as we'd hit the house, he would microwave it and devour every last morsel.  I walked up and grabbed him a to-go box, hoping he would tear his food up once we got to the car.  He never did.  We dropped him off at the hotel at 5:50 pm.  Never one to show his emotions, his eyes welled up with tears as we hugged him before he went inside.  My wife, his girlfriend and I all broke down in tears as soon as we got in the car to drive off.  We had a few errands to run before we could head back home, so we did just that.  At 10 pm we finally made it back.  We had all been talking to him on the phone for a few hours leading up and again, he seemed in pretty good spirits.  We knew he was nervous, we could hear it in his voice.  My wife decided to take a shower, and I decided I would write him an epic poem of love, encouragement and inspiration!  I finished writing and my wife got out of the shower just as he texted her.  He asked if he could call.  Of course!  

Driving our Future Sailor to the hotel the night before shipping out.

What he would say from 11:30 pm until roughly 2:30 am, my wife and I were never fully prepared for.  "I'm not strong enough to do this.  I am so scared.  I'm only 18 years old.  I just need a few more months to prepare myself.  I can't do this.  I settled for my job.  I don't want to be an Aviation Tech.  I'm not good enough for the Navy.  I won't know anyone there and everyone will make fun of me because of how scared I am.  I want to come home.  Please come and get me and bring me home."  He was dry heaving and sobbing heavily for the nearly 3 hours we were on the phone with him.  We did our best to encourage him, to remind him of how proud and excited he was the day he took his oath for the Navy.  How every single person going into Great Lakes had the same feelings that he was having.  He was not alone and that no matter how far away we were from him, we were always right there with him as long as he carried us in his heart.  How he would be able to see the world with the Navy and do things that we could only hope to one day do.  We told him how parents always want better for their children and this was his easiest and best way to do better than us.  The things he told us ripped our hearts out of our chest and threw them on the ground.  Shattering them into a million, tiny little pieces.  We endured and we continued to encourage him.  He knew that his wake up call was at 4 am and that time was rapidly approaching.  We said our I love yous and hung up the phone with him.

I sat on the bed with three sheets of paper in front of me.  All with writing on them.  I told my wife that my intentions were to write him a wonderful poem of encouragement and inspiration, but I have the creativity of a field mouse now in my advanced age.  I read her the first poem of only about 10 lines and tossed it aside, "Man that sucks", to which she laughed.  I read her the second poem of about 8 lines and tossed it aside as well, "I'm just horrible anymore."  She laughed again.  I picked up the third piece of paper, "When I finally decided to write this and I was done with it, I knew this was what I was wanting to write all along, but rhyming is hard."  Below is that letter that I wrote nearly 2 hours before he called and asked to come home.  It is almost prophetic.  For me anyway.

Son,

I had this grand scheme where I was going to write this amazing, uplifting, motivational poem for you to read when times were tough and you were feeling down and didn't think you had what it took to carry on.  Unfortunately, your old man just isn't as creative as he once was.  So instead, read this letter when you're faced with adversity.

I don't have anything to give you that you can take to make things better while at Boot Camp, except for me.  Take everything that I am and use it to help get you through these next two months.  Take my strength when you are feeling weak.  I will lay bed ridden for the next two months, just take my strength.  Take my courage when you're afraid and feel all alone.  I will live in constant fear so you don't have to.  On nights when you can't sleep, you can have my rest.  I will stay awake for eight straight weeks if it means one night of sleep for you.

Take me with you, Son.  For I am already there anyway.  I am always with you.  I am always in your heart.  Be strong, my Navy Sailor.

Love,

Dad

April 11th, 2016 Shipping Day

At 4 am, just an hour and a half after we hung up the phone with him he called again.  He told us that he managed to get a little bit of sleep and that he was feeling a lot better about shipping out.  Both my wife and I let out a gigantic sigh of relief!  Praise God, our prayers for strength and calm had been answered.  We thought.  We arrived at MEPS a little bit before 9 am with hopes and excitement in our hearts.  Two of our closest friends would be with us to help see our son off on his biggest adventure of his life.  When we walked in, he was sitting down, waiting on us and smiling.  He waved and excited wave and came to greet us.  We hugged him and had him sit with us.  For the next three hours we watched as his demeanor changed from calm and cool to terrified, ill and ashen.  He got up on three or four separate occasions to go to the bathroom to be sick.  Since he had not eaten in almost 48 hours, it was just a dry heave.  He would return to his seat and just hunch over and barely move.  He had the shakes and kept saying he was freezing.  He wrapped himself in my wife's coat and cuddled with her and his girlfriend.  Our friends arrived over the next hour or so and we all talked and laughed and tried really hard to take his mind off of everything.  Nothing we did helped.  At around 11 am, the recruits were called into the debriefing room.  The spent almost 40 minutes in there with the recruits and then had all of the friends and families line up on the sidewalk outside to send them off.  The kid that went into that room and then emerged from the MEPS building was two completely different people!  He walked in with his head hung low, his face ashen and his body shaking with tears in his eyes.  He walked out with his head held high, color back in his face, his body language was that of pure confidence and his eyes were bright once more and he was wearing a smile!  He told us what we were supposed to do to be able to see him off at the airport.  We hugged him again, told him how proud we were of him and watched as he got on the shuttle toward Indy International.  

Walking out toward the shuttle to the airport.

Here is a video of our Future Sailor walking out of MEPS toward HIS future!  Video credit goes to my very good friend, J.  Thank you for capturing this moment for us.

Walking Out of MEPS

At the airport, I begged him to eat something and to try to get a little bit of sleep before his flight.  He still didn't feel like eating, but he did lay down on the floor and rested a little bit.  It would be almost three hours before his flight took off for Chicago O'Hare.  We spent the time together as a family, laughing, joking and continuing to do our best to encourage him.  His spirits were much higher than they had been the last two days, which was a great thing to see.  It was time to board his plane and say his final goodbyes.  We watched as his plane took off for Chicago.  Our Future Sailor was gone off to Great Lakes.

One final family photo before he flies out to Great Lakes.

One last hug from his brother.

Next stop, Great Lakes, Illinois!

We came home after a very busy day for everyone involved and waited.  My wife took a quick nap and I had to run to work for a few minutes.  By the time I got back, he had texted my wife and told her how hungry he was.  The past two days of not eating had finally caught up to him.  He said he was afraid he was going to pass out due to not eating.  She told him that she would not eat for the rest of the night either in support of him, and I followed suit.  It is almost 18 hours later and while I know he has finally had a chance to have some chow, I still have not eaten.  We received the "I'm okay and I'm safe" phone call at 8:21 Eastern Standard Time.  It was so great to hear the excitement back in his voice.  We told him how proud we are of him and how much we love him.  He told us he loved us too and he was gone.  

We will burn this candle for you every night, my son.

I am still numb to everything and the worst part is not knowing. I still haven't truly cried for him either and I'm a cryer. It's what I do. I cry during sappy commercials and movies and I cry when I think about my boys being little.  I cry at just about everything, except for this.  I haven't really cried yet.  I've teared up, but I haven't cried.   I have already begun writing him letters and his mother has as well.  Instead of counting the days and weeks, we are going to count the Fridays.  

On Sunday April 9th, as my wife and I were laying in bed talking about the upcoming two days, a song popped into my head that I had not heard or thought of in over 20 years.  In high school I was a choir kid.  I loved everything singing and that included Musicals.  In the early 1990's there was a hit Broadway Musical called Jekyll and Hyde.  It is the story of, you guessed it, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  The climactic song is a powerful, inspirational one that on this day I said "This is our son's song.  This is HIS moment!"  This IS his moment.  This is his time.  Please give this song a listen and enjoy.  It is such a perfect song for our son.  I present to you, This is the Moment, from Jekyll and Hyde as performed by Anthony Warlow.

This is the day, see it sparkle and shine.  When all I've lived for becomes mine.

In closing this blog, I just want to say how proud we are of our Seaman Recruit and cannot wait until we are able to see him again.  Fair Winds and Following Seas.  Enjoy this ride, buddy!

A photo of our Future Sailor from 2009.  Foreshadowing maybe?

He truly is my hero.  He is brave in a way that I could never be.

Be strong, my Navy Sailor.

My Favorites of 2015

I'm sure no one really gives a crap about my favorite movies of 2015, but I want to talk about them for a moment, so I'm going to.  These are MY favorite movies of 2015, right or wrong, whether you agree with them or not, they are mine.  I will also be adding in a little bit of what I loved and maybe even a small amount of what I didn't love in there as well.  There are movies that won't be on this list simply because I have not seen them.  The final Hunger Games, The Martian, Mad Max, just to name a few.  So here is my list from number 10 to my favorite movie of 2015!


#10 Pitch Perfect 2

I'm a sucker for musicals.  This one barely cracks the Top 10, but only because of Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) and Adam DeVine (Bumper).  These two made me love the first movie and they are just as funny in the second one.

#9 The Wedding Ringer

This movie was a surprise to me.  I really thought it would be a dumb movie that was made to cash in on the popularity of Kevin Hart.  But this film had more than Hart, it had Heart (see what I did there?)  Josh Gad was hilarious as well and I loved seeing the old football greats!

#8 Get Hard

I love Will Ferrell and I love Kevin Hart, who is making his second appearance on my list.  When I heard they were making a movie together, I nearly lost my mind!  This movie did NOT disappoint!  I laughed so hard for so long during this film.  This photo was one of my favorite scenes.  MAYO!!!

#7 Avengers: Age Of Ultron

This was a really fun Superhero film!  Although not nearly as good as the first, it was still good.  James Spader as Ultron was the perfect casting!  I didn't like Quicksilver at all (Evan Peters is Quicksilver.  Period.  End of subject!).  Scarlet Witch was AWESOME as was Cap and the rest of the crew.  However, Ultron being the reason for the Avengers to have to assemble again...Considering a blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen whipped Ultron's ass in the comics, this one was hard for me to grasp.

#6 Inside Out

Bing Bong broke my heart and made me cry.  Lewis Black as Anger!  That's all that needs to be said!

#5 Chappie

I really, really liked this movie.  I wanted to love this movie, but the previews led us to believe a story line completely different from what we actually saw.  But I still love Chappie!

#4 Jurassic World

Chris Pratt, some Velociraptors and one bad ass T-Rex!  WINNING!!!  My only beef is the leading lady wearing heels and a white dress and running around and rolling in the mud and never falls, trips or gets a speck of dirt on her.  Other than that...Loved it!!!

#3 Ant-Man

This is one of Marvel's lowest grossing movies, but one of their best!  The cast was amazing and I never in my life thought that Ant-Man could carry his own movie.  The appearance of Thomas the Tank Engine was just awesome and made me laugh very much!

#2 Star Wars : The Force Awakens

No, this is not my favorite movie this year.  But man I loved it so much more than I thought I ever could.  The characters were incredible and the action sequences were perfect!  Bringing back the use of practical effects versus CGI was the absolute right thing to do.  This movie left me wanting more Star Wars!  I simply cannot wait until Episode VIII to see if we get some answers to the many questions that this one left us with.  The only reason this isn't in my top spot is because I have only watched it once and I was so filled with joyous emotions that I struggled to take some of it in.  Had I viewed this at least once more, it most likely would have been #1.  

#1 Straight Outta Compton

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge.  From Executive Producers O'Shea Jackson, Andre Young and Tamica Wright, we get one of the better and most accurate Bio-Pics to ever grace the silver screen.  The World's Most Dangerous Group was my favorite rap group growing up.  No, I did not grow up in Compton or even in California.  I was raised in Martinsville, Indiana.  But NWA changed my musical life thanks to a few of my childhood friends (Iceman and DJ Skratch, here's looking at you).  I had already loved rap music from Run DMC to The Fresh Prince to The Sugarhill Gang.  However, the first time I heard Straight Outta Compton it blew my mind!  So when I heard that this movie was being made, I was more than excited and I knew that I would see it opening week.  I actually went to see it opening night.  The talented, young actors that were cast as Eazy, Dre, Cube, Ren and Yella were perfect and spot on!  O'Shea Jackson Jr. playing his father was absolute genius.  I really don't think anyone else in Hollywood could have pulled off playing IceCube as well as OJ Jr. did.  This movie documents the rapid rise and faster fall of one of the most influential rap groups in history.  There was comedy, drama and some action involved throughout.  I had read an interview with O'Shea Jackson (IceCube) where he said that if it wasn't accurate, they didn't want it in this movie.  Subsequently, Jerry Heller and Suge Knight are pissed about how they were portrayed.  Are you shocked that they're angry about the fact they were shown as assholes?  Well, they are assholes so they shouldn't be pissed about it.  Straight Outta Compton gets a 10 out of 10 in my book and I can see myself loving this movie for many, many years to come!

So there you have it, my Top 10 movies of 2015!  If you haven't seen any of these movies, I highly recommend you checking them out!  There is a reason they are in my Top 10!!!  Share yours with me on Facebook if you'd like, but don't bash my list.  This one is mine and mine alone.  Just because your opinion might be different than mine doesn't mean either is wrong.  I'll be back in about a year to do my Top 10 Movies of 2016!  With the slate of geek movies we have coming up, it is sure to be a GREAT movie year!!!

The MASSive Difference

127 dead.  That is the number of people that were killed in a highly coordinated attack in Paris, France on November 13th, 2015.  The world is talking about the tragic events that occurred last night in the City of Love.  The acts, which have been confirmed to be from ISIS, is both horrible and unspeakable.  Many innocent people lost their lives.  Wives lost husbands, husbands lost wives, parents lost children and children lost parents.  All in the name of God.  Or, at least, that's what ISIS believes.  Murder, in the name of God, is not the God that I was raised to believe in.

Many of my friends on Facebook and Instagram have posted many, many photos "Standing with Paris".  Some have even changed their profile photos to include the French flag as a show of support, myself included.  I think that this is incredible and definitely a show of solidarity.  Others, and I need to add, many others, have taken this opportunity to blame this on President Barrack Obama.  Some even going as far as comparing mass shootings in the United States to the terrorist attacks in Paris.  Stop.  Just stop.  These people are comparing apples to oranges.  It is like trying to compare Magic Johnson to Steph Curry.  Or Joe Montana to Tom Brady.  Or Ronald Reagan to Abraham Lincoln.  Or the World War II with the Gulf War.  The two, no matter the comparisons, are completely different beasts that should never be uttered in the same sentence.  Ever.  To do so, to think that mass shootings in America and an attack by a known, psychotic, yet feared terrorist organization are the same, is lunacy.  Don't be "that guy".  This isn't about what President Obama did or what Hillary Clinton will do or who shot up what elementary school.  This is a blatant act of terrorism by a group who does not deny that they are terrorists.  This isn't Adam Lanza killing 28 total people including 20 young children in Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012 or James Holmes walking into a premiere of The Dark Knight Rises in June of 2012, killing 12 people and injuring 70 more.  This is a TERRORIST ORGANIZATION!  They are Al Qaeda on steroids.  It really is only a matter of time before they attack America.  I seem to not be able to recall anyone comparing the attacks on 9/11 with what Stalin did in Soviet Russia, or what Hitler did in Nazi Germany.  So let's not make the comparisons with what happened in Paris to the mass shootings in this country.

I get it.  People hate President Obama.  That's fine, it is your prerogative and your right.  However, let's compare the two, shall we?  Let's find out if this IS his fault or not.  Mass shootings in America are the cause of some nut job, or mentally ill person or people, who hate a specific group of people for whatever reason or have felt "left out" their entire lives and have been made fun of, bullied or what have you.  Whether that's racism, or religion or political stance or even the love of a certain Superhero.  These people are also those who owned an arsenal of weapons that could arm a small militia.  They decided that putting these weapons of death to use against a certain group of people is a good idea.  So they go and shoot up a school because they didn't fit in and were made fun of because they wore trench coats.  Or they walk into a movie theater on premiere night of one of the most anticipated blockbusters of all time because they think they're the lunatic villain.  Or they walk into an elementary school in the northeast and kill over 20 young children because, well, no one really knows why.  The point that I'm trying to make with these horrific examples is that they are all different incidents carried out by much different people with completely different agendas.

Now on to ISIS.  The group that is responsible for this heinous act of terrorism.  Who are they exactly?  After doing quite a bit of research as to who they really were, I was stunned.  The majority of the high ranking ISIS officials are former Iraqi Army Officers.  Those who were some of the highest ranked Officers in the Iraqi Army under former leader Saddam Hussein.  So how did they get to be in the position that they're in now?  Why did they leave their post with Iraq?  It's simple.  Former President George W. Bush appointed L. Paul Bremer to be in charge of "converting" Iraq, who then told them to get out and never come back to their home nation after Hussein was overthrown by American Forces.  One of many links to where I found this information can be found here if you'd like to look for yourself.  The purpose of this organization is simple, convert the world to Islam or kill those who refuse to do so.  They are all a part of the same group with the same goals and the same hate in their heart.  The comparisons between ISIS and mass shootings in America are night and day.  They simply cannot be compared.  

So let us as a nation not get out of control and start posting lunacy about what happened, how it happened or even the cause of it.  Let us as Americans show our support for Paris and for all of France in their time of tragedy and need in the same way they showed their support for New York and all of America when terrorism and horror hit our own country.

Paris has never forgotten what happened on that fateful day in September, 2011.  Nor should we ever forget what happened on November 13th, 2015.  Stand with Paris.  Feel for all of those who lost their lives and the families that will mourn their loss and forever be affected by these awful acts.  Mourn with them in the same way that France mourned with us.  Continue to leave your Facebook, Instagram and Twitter profile pictures up to show France our continuous support and love.  Let them know that they are all in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.  When America was under attack from Al Qaeda, many countries stood in support of us.  But it was France that stood the longest.  So let's return the favor.  Show them our support.  Let's ALL #StandWithParis

Starbucks Vs. Jesus

I need to preface this entry by saying that I am a follower of Jesus and that I love He and God very much.  I, like so many other believers in this world, fail as a Christian every day.  I am so thankful for the sacrifice that Jesus made for me on the cross so that my debts would be paid and my sins washed clean.

Unless you've been living under a rock these last few days, you've noticed and probably paid attention to news about Starbucks and their "Red Cups".  Sigh...  In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, here is a photo for you about the aforementioned Starbucks' Red Cups.

"It's a war on Christmas"!  These are the words of Joshua Feuerstein, an Evangelist and social media personality based out of Arizona.  I have had many thoughts about this and have posted many of those thoughts about this topic.  However, the first word that popped in my head when I read about this was, "Really?"  This is what our country has come to, folks.  This is what is important to us now.  If there truly is a war on Christmas, as Mr. Feuerstein claims, then why isn't he out and about really doing something about it?  Instead of arguing about the package that a very expensive cup of coffee comes in, why isn't he preaching to his flock about taking care of the problems this country faces in the same manner that Jesus would?

Here's an idea for those who are in an uproar about snowflakes and mistletoe being removed from a coffee cup.  Take that money that you spend on your daily coffee beverage, let's just say $7 a cup, multiply that by 44 days until Christmas, that's $308 and donate that to the over 1.3 million homeless children identified by public schools just last year alone!  Think of how great a Christmas could be for a child if everyone that is offended by this red cup would do that!  That is what Jesus would want you to do.  That is what Jesus himself would do.  In the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 10 verse 18 it says "He defends the fatherless and the widow and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing".  It's right there in the book that you swear by Joshua Feuerstein!  I also did some research as to where in that same Bible it says to start a national controversy over a red Starbucks cup.  My search came up empty.  However, one other thing I saw was this: "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity for him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth". 1 John 3:17-18.  Feuerstein has also stated that he has told the Starbucks Baristas that his name is "Merry Christmas" when they ask for his name.  "I tricked you into putting 'Merry Christmas' on your cup", he says.  So now he is a liar and a deceiver and he is asking his sheeple to do the exact same thing!  Some follower of Jesus this man has turned out to be.

To an extent, I do believe there is a war on Christmas.  But it is not the same war that people like Joshua Feuerstein think.  The war is not coming from the media, or from businesses (who, by the way are in business to make money and Christmas time is the busiest season of each year).  I believe that the war on Christmas is coming from those who claim to cherish Christmas so much because it is the time to celebrate the birth of their savior, Jesus.  Hold on, hold on.  Not all of you, but a majority.  These same types of people who are standing on their pulpits, pounding their chests and screaming that the media and businesses and government have declared a war on Christmas, are the same ones standing in line at 5 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day waiting to pick up that discounted Playstaion 4 or Nintendo WiiU for their child.  All the while, they walk by a homeless Veteran on the streets begging for change so they can buy them something hot to eat and snub their noses.  Or they see a child walk into school in the middle of December when it is 15 degrees out, wearing mismatched socks, shoes that have holes in them and pants that are 2 sizes too small and no coat and they laugh.  Never once does it cross their minds that their parents have fallen on hard times.  Not thinking that the Father was laid off from the construction company that he works for because erecting buildings in the middle of winter is not a booming business.  Or maybe that the Mother or Father is a former Veteran who suffers from PTSD and cannot work because of how bad it is.  No!  They judge.  They laugh and make comments about being a welfare child, or that the parents are just too lazy to work and need to stop accepting government handouts and get an actual job.  Or even further, the parent is disabled and just cannot work because of it.  This is what our nation has come to, folks.

These same "Christians" say that our nation has fallen away from God and I agree.  Yet again, it is not because of our Government or businesses or even the media.  It is because we, as the people of this nation, have fallen away from God.  We the people have decided that mocking and judging others who are lesser, is more important than helping the least of these.  We the people have stopped helping our fellow man in their time of need and have instead decided that any assistance is a "handout".  We the people have stopped letting Jesus lead us and are determined to lead ourselves. The only war on Christmas is a war we the people have started and we are the only people who can stop it.  When you're in church and the offering plate comes around, do you give till it hurts?  Or do you give "just enough"?  Do you actually help people in need or are you one of those who say "I live in My Own Little World? (video by Christian singer Matthew West)

I will be the first to admit, there have been two times that my wife and I have received assistance to be able to provide any kind of Christmas gifts to our children.  I am not ashamed of it and feel blessed that someone believed and felt the way that Jesus did toward those who have very little or nothing.  This year will be, by all accounts the same for us as well.  There will be presents under the tree, but not very many.  Three or four a piece if we get lucky and find some great deals.  Nevertheless, that's okay.  Our kids are older and they understand that Christmas isn't about how many gifts they get, but rather the fact that Mom and Dad worked so hard to get them what they could and they recognize the love we have for them to try so hard.

This Christmas, please do not feel like there is a war on Christmas.  Do not snub your nose at the least of these.  Instead, help them and be a part of the solution.  Drop your change in the Salvation Army bucket on your way out of the store.  Stop spending your money on Starbucks every day and donate it to needy families who otherwise would not be able to buy anything for their children.  Even though we are going through some really rough financial times ourselves, I will be dropping all of my change into those red buckets and not even concern myself over red cups.  Do what Jesus commanded of us "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another". John 13:34-35.  Be the light of God.  After all, you may be the only Jesus that a person sees.

How Many Since Sandy Hook?!?!

Let me just start off by saying that I love people.  I know, I know.  I can be a bit grumpy around some of them some times, but I truly do love people.  I love it when friends of mine have babies as well.  Seeing those precious, hopeful children with eyes so big and full of wonder at the world around them.  Then I hear about another tragedy where multiple people are gunned down because some person who owned 14 guns snapped and lost their minds and decided that today was the day that they finally put their entire arsenal to use.  When I hear about horrible events such as what happened at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon just last week, I don't love it when my friends bring new life into this world.  It makes me sad.  It terrifies me for the innocent children who are forcefully placed in a country that cares nothing about protecting them.  It makes me so angry at my friends that they would choose to bring the most wonderful creation into this country where they have a better chance of being gunned down at school, then of making it to their college graduation.

Yes, this blog is about guns.  So let me just say now that I don't care if you have guns.  Let me also say that if you think President Obama is going to come and get your guns, you're a fucking moron.  You have bought into the propaganda that the NRA and the far right are selling you.  Hook, line and sinker.  Whether you want to believe that or not, you have.  Me personally, I do not like guns, nor do I want one.  I don't need one to "protect myself or my family".  If it is our time to go, it is our time to go and there is nothing or no one that can stop that.  Plain and simple.  However, if you are one of those people who would rather have your guns than save the lives of your fellow man, then I have to ask you, why?  Why is your gun so much more important than perserving the lives of over 1200 people since the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre in December of 2012?  Yes, you read that number right.  Over 1200 human lives were taken in MASS MURDERS alone since December of 2012.  That is an average of over 400 lives obliterated in mass murders per year, all in the name of protection.  So again I ask you, why?  Why is that gun so important to you?

Okay, okay, I get it.  Those reading this blog that own guns more than likely aren't going to go on a shooting spree at Martinsville High School.  But what about your neighbors?  Or the people that live across the street from you?  Or that crazy eyed, wild haired man at the end of your block who is always glaring at you as you drive your kids to school every morning?  What about him?  Are any of them going to go to MHS, or any school for that matter and start shooting up the school?  It is very possible.  We hope it doesn't happen.  We pray it doesn't happen.  But sometimes, well, sometimes our prayers aren't answered in the way we hope them to be.  So we just hope...

After doing a bit of research before I wrote this blog, I nearly broke down in tears.  The numbers are staggering!!!  This year alone there have been 300 mass shootings.  Since Sandy Hook, there have been 994.  Let that number sink in.  994 mass shootings.  Over 1200 human lives taken from this earth, their families and friends.  The United States of America has an average of 32,000 gun related deaths PER YEAR!!!  According to vox.com, the United States makes up 4.4% of the world's population.  Yet we have 42.4% of the guns owned in the entire world!  WOW!  So what does that tell us?  Well, it's easy.  Statistics show that places that have more guns, have more gun deaths.  Clearly.  And I didn't even graduate college and I figured that one out!

According to data compiled by the UN, the US had 29.7 firearm homicides per 1 million people last year.  In comparison, Switzerland had 7.7, Canada had 5.1 and Germany had 1.9.  All free countries.  All democratic countries.  Criminal Justice experts believe that this is a result of cultural and policy decisions that have made guns far more accessible in America than in most of the world.  For the U.S., that means not just more mass shootings, but more gun violence in general.  (Yes, I borrowed that paragraph from vox.com, excellent little website!)

On September 30, 2015, President Barack Obama held a press conference to address the shootings in Roseburg, Oregon.  Part of what he said was this:  "Somehow, this has become routine.  The reporting is routine, my response here at this podium ends up being routine, the conversation in the aftermath," he then tapered off.  "We've become numb to this.  We talked about this after Columbine and Vicksburg, after Tucson, after Newton, after Aurora, after Charleston."  I can tell that he wants to make changes.  I can tell that many people want to make changes.  I know that the majority of Americans care about the lives of their fellow man.  Yet changes are never made.  History continues to repeat itself.  People continue to die because of senseless tragedies that can be, but never will be prevented.

After 26 people were murdered in cold blood at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December of 2012, 20 of which were children, the iron was hot to strike to help get a little bit of gun control in this country.  But, just like they always have in the past, the NRA shoved fistfuls of dollars into the pockets of politicians all over the country and the topic just went away.  Just like it always does.  After that horrible event, the NRA coined a really catchy phrase that gun lovers everywhere began to chant in places such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and hell, even in public places.  "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun."  Well let me ask you this, since that phrase was first voiced by the NRA, how has THAT worked out for us?  So there haven't been 994 mass shootings since December of 2012 because of all the brave good guys with guns?  WOO HOO!!!  WE WON!!!  Oh...wait.  You mean nothing has changed?  There HAVE BEEN 994 mass shootings since December of 2012?  There HAVE BEEN over 65,000 human live eliminated from this earth because of guns?  Okay then, where are the good guys with a gun?  Honestly.  I want to know.  I want to know WHY 994 mass shootings weren't prevented because of all of these good guys with guns.

Apparently the NRA was wrong.  Apparently, everyone who ever uttered that phrase in the almost 3 years since 26 people, 20 of which were children were gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary School, was wrong.  President Obama continued in his press conference regarding the shooting at Umpqua Community College by saying "As I said a few months ago and a few months before that and each time we see one of these mass shootings, our thoughts and prayers are not enough.  It does nothing to prevent this carnage being inflicted some place in America, next week or a couple of months from now.  Somehow, this has become routine."  Routine indeed, Mr. President and it seems that there is nothing that you, myself, or anyone else in this country can do to stop it.

Many years ago I was doing a bible study with some friends of mine on the book of Revelations.  When John the Reveler was seeing his visions of the future, he saw a country that he described as having the heart of a lion and the head of an eagle, who had come to lead the way and to protect the world.  I initially took that as meaning the U.S.A.  I was told that while I had every right to believe that, most folks believe that the country that John describes was England, not America.  I asked why John didn't mention America.  I was told quite simply, "Because America will not exist in the end times".  I had struggled with the idea of that for many, many years.  I had tried so hard to wrap my mind around HOW we, the good 'ol U.S. of A. could not be around in the end times.  Now I know how, I've known for a while.  We are just going to kill ourselves.  End of story.  The U.S. will not be around in the end times because we are going to slaughter ourselves with our own guns.  We as a people, do not value human lives.  We as a nation, do not care to save our people.  All in the name of protection.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun was truly and honestly, never the answer.  So what is the answer?  I wish I knew.  I wish I could tell you how we could make this country of ours safer for it's citizens.  I wish I had a brilliant idea as to how we can stop all of these senseless massacres.  But I don't.  However, I do know this, pretending that mass shootings are going to stop will never work.  Playing make believe that a good guy with a gun is going to ride into town on his bright white horse to stop the bad guy with a gun, isn't working.  Hoping that people will stop mass murdering people is most definitely not the answer.  I also know this, the truest definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Isn't it time for our nation and it's people to stop being insane?

America: The Greatest Country in the World, Indeed

With the United States' Presidential Election just over a year away, many topics have risen to the forefront of what America and her citizens are talking about, worried about, thinking about and mad about.  Chief among them being immigration and gay marriage.  I'll admit, I have thought quite a bit about both of these topics as well.  However, my opinions most likely differ from yours greatly.  I have a question for my readers (as few as they may be), don't we have more important things to worry about?  I mean, seriously?  I read a post on Facebook earlier today about Denmark being the happiest country on the planet.  Well, they were.  This year they were taken over by Switzerland.  Denmark is still the 3rd happiest country on the planet.  So what is it that these two small nations do that the US doesn't do that make it's peoples so happy?  Lucky for you, I have done a bit of research, so you don't have to.  Now let me explain...

Both Switzerland and Denmark have free, universal and effective health care.  Not only is the health care free, it is a right of EVERY person that is a citizen of these countries.  It's people do not have to shell out $200 - $1000 a month to be able to see a doctor, dentist or medical specialist.  Because of that, Danes and Swiss see their Primary Care Physicians almost twice as often per year as a citizen of the US.  The routine visits allow the PCP to establish continuity with their patients that help to extend lives, on average, to almost 13 YEARS LONGER than the average American.  Do you still think America is the greatest nation on the planet?  Let me finish then...

Both Switzerland and Denmark have free, universal and effective child care.  Are you tired of shelling out almost $200 a week for child care so that both adults in the house can work?  You should be.  These nations that rank numbers 1 and 3 in the world as far as happiness of it's people go, have figured this out so they can keep the money that they have worked so hard to earn.  My wife and I were lucky, we didn't have to pay for child care.  My wonderful mother-in-law took care of our kids until they were old enough for school.  Not everyone is blessed the way we were.  The people of Denmark and Switzerland are though.  Every single one of them.  Are you still convinced the US is the greatest nation in the world?  Allow me to continue...

Switzerland and Denmark have free, universal and effective college educations for all of it's citizens.  Imagine if you will being so intelligent and knowing by the time you are 16 years old what you want to do with your life.  Now imagine being that same intelligent person not being able to go to college because your parents can't afford to send you because one year of tuition to the college that you want to go to is more than $30,000.  It makes you feel horrible doesn't it?  Maybe even a little depressed?  How about being able to take out student loans to pay for college?  A student can always do that if they want to go to school that much.  Yes, you are correct.  Imagine you are the same person from the two instances above, except now you have to take out student loans for four years of a higher education at an average of $30,000 a year.  After you graduate, you walk out with your piece of paper, a smile on your face, no job and over $100,000 of debt!  Congratulations!!!  Your education has cost you the price of a 3 bedroom home in the state of Indiana.  Now pay it off for the next 20 - 30 years of your life.  This isn't an exception for college students in the US, it is a reality.  Have you changed your mind yet about America being the greatest country in the world?  I will finish up now...

The American worker in the greatest country in the world puts in, on average, 47 hours a week just to pay their bills, put a small amount of food in the cabinets and fridge and be broke for another 6 or 13 days, depending on your job's pay cycle.  In Switzerland, the workers have a 35 hour work week.  In Denmark, it is a 33 hour work week.  I'm sure by now you're asking yourself, but how do they survive working so little?  Well, that's an easy question to answer.  In Denmark the minimum wage is $20 USD per hour.  In Switzerland, the minimum wage is $19 USD per hour.  Both of these countries accomplish this incredible feat with zero natural resources to speak of.  Most of the income that these two countries have coming in is from exported goods and tourism, with 80% coming from exported goods.  Are you still convinced that the United States is the greatest country in the world?  Then I pity you.

So how can the US begin to measure up to all of what Denmark and Switzerland do?  Why, I'm glad you asked.  Do it.  Period.  Do everything they are doing!  But, but, but, how could we possibly pay for this?  Again, I'm so glad you asked!  Switzerland spends less than 2.4% of their GDP on healthcare and a total of less than 8% of their GDP on everything I mentioned in the paragraphs above.  Denmark does not spend much more than Switzerland.  3.1% and 9.5% respectfully on healthcare and the total of everything.  On top of all of this, the highest tax bracket of Switzerland is 11.5%.  Denmark is just slightly higher at 12.3%.  America's AVERAGE tax bracket is 35%!!!  So here's how we do it.  It is really a simple solution and one that even the most stubborn assholes in Washington could agree on.  Stop sending billions of dollars to countries overseas.  Stop spending billions of dollars every fiscal quarter on barrels of oil only to stock pile them "in case shit".  Stop paying the corrupt politicians more than 100x's more than the people they represent.  And this one, I really can't stress this one enough, STOP SPENDING BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS OF OUR HARD EARNED DOLLARS ON MEANINGLESS, WORTHLESS AND GREED DRIVEN WARS!!!  If those four things are corrected in Washington, I just saved this nation over a TRILLION dollars to pay for the well-being, care and education of it's people.  If you don't believe this model works or can work, just look to the 1st and 3rd happiest countries in the world!  America, you have failed this nation.  You have failed it's people.  You have failed.

Now ask yourself the question again.  Is America the greatest nation in the world with the way they take care of it's people?  If you still answer yes after reading all of the facts that I have presented to you, then you are part of the problem.

A New Year, A New Life

Well, not really a new life.  There are just changes coming in 2015.  Last night, December 31, 2014 I worked my final shift at Chili's Grill and Bar.  This was a very bittersweet night for me.  I had managed to build some really great relationships, make some life long friends and had entrenched myself firmly in one store and was succeeding.  But then, as it usually does, fate takes hold and the wheels of change begin to turn.  Setting in motion events that would change my life forever.  I should say at the beginning of this, that I will not mention any names at all because I will not in anyway, shape or form badmouth or even call anyone out at Chili's (even though there are a few people that deserve to be called out).  Chili's has been very good to me over these almost three years and I will not say anything bad about it, or it's employees.  Now, with that being said, it wasn't always easy for me at Chili's and there were times that I thought I wasn't going to make it with the company.  There were times where, because of work issues, that I would go through bouts of depression, where I wanted nothing more than for it all to be over with.  But I would somehow always pull myself out of the hole that I had dug and come out a better person because if it.  There were times that one specific server would treat me like shit and tell MASSIVE lies about me (I'm SO glad I don't have to deal with that bitch ever again!  Okay, so no more badmouthing people after this.  HA!), but I do not regret any of my time at Chili's.  In fact, I am very thankful and extremely blessed to have worked for Chili's.

At the end of October, I was transferred to another store.  I was devastated.   I had been told many months before that I would be transferred, but it just never happened.  I had hoped that I had done enough to warrant staying in the store I loved.  Again, fate always works it's way into the fold.  Whether we want it to or not.  No matter where I ended up, no matter what store I was going to work at, I decided to work really hard at making the best out of the situation.

A week into my tenure at my new store, I was talked to very poorly by the GM.  I let him know in a not so nice reply that I was not his dog, his wife or his child and that he would treat me with respect.  I was done.  Completely done.  Here was a man that I had known for about seven days talking to me like I was a piece of shit.  The next morning I started putting feelers out online.  I began submitting my resume to any place that was looking for an experienced manager.  By the afternoon I received a phone call from the District Manager at Arby's.  I was shocked at how quickly I had received a response.  I really thought I would be stuck in a not so great situation for a very long time.  Fate.

A few days later, I interviewed with Arby's and I absolutely crushed it!  I knocked that interview so far out of the park that there was no doubt in my mind that I had the job.  After about a week, the District Manager that I had interviewed with had told me that she was going to pass me on to another DM whose stores are a lot closer to where I live.  Three days later, I interviewed with her and I got the job.  An offer was made and I was on my way out the door.  I thought.  A snag in my background check and drug screen at the end of November kept me at Chili's through the end of the year.

In the two months that I was at the new Chili's, I had built some incredible relationships with some amazing people.  In the almost three years that I was a manager at Chili's, I had always thought that I was just an okay manager at best.  At one point I had thought that I had chosen the wrong path to take in my career.  I had been led to believe by some that I was a very below average manager.  Maybe even a bad manager.  Just a few days ago, something happened that changed my perception of myself as a manager.  I was told by one of my favorite people at the new store that she liked talking to me about mistakes that she makes while at work because I don't yell at her.  That instead of yelling and screaming and treating her like crap (like a few other managers there did), that I would coach her on her mistakes and teach her better and easier ways to do things and how to avoid those mistakes in the future.  She told me that she would always walk away from talking with me feeling better about herself.  Validated.  I was a good manager.  The career path that I had chosen for myself was the right one.  I was making a positive difference in people's lives.  People believed in me and the things I was doing.

By the time my last four days at Chili's had arrived, I had people asking me on a daily basis why I had to leave.  My response was always the same; You know why I have to leave.

So all of this leads up to today.  January 1st, 2015.  I have an entirely new future with a new company lined up ahead of me.  I will be a General Manager at Arby's by August or September and I will be making some pretty darn good money in doing so.  I am starting with a blank slate and confidence in myself as a manger that I had never had before.  I know now that I am a really good manager with the potential to be a great manager.  To those who have helped me along the way, who have cared for me and have encouraged me to look toward bigger and better things, thank you so much.  You know who you are.  I love my Chili's family and I look very forward to seeing them outside of the four walls of Chili's Grill and Bar.

Arby's, I hope you're ready for me because I am ready for you.